I am tired.

I am tired.
I am tired of watching babies like mine die.
I’m tired of seeing pictures of these babies in the hospital.
I’m tired of seeing them be discriminated against.
I’m tired of posts from other tired moms fighting the damn system.
I’m tired of fighting the system.
I’m tired of paperwork and repetitive phone calls. I’m tired of being on hold for hours with insurance. I’m tired of bills and white envelopes covered in red letters. I’m tired of hearing “no” over and over again.
I’m tired of watching my husband work 60 hours away from our home and we still never gain any ground. We still are beyond overwhelmed. We are exhausting all our means. We are just trying to feed our kids and keep the heat on.
I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting depression. I’m tired of the loneliness. I’m tired of waking up tired and ending the day exhausted.
I’m tired of the burn out.
Thank you to my friends who call and text. Thank you for the occasional cup of hot coffee from the place I used to go every morning before work. Thank you for the gift card to get a fancy bra or get my nails done…. even though we all know I’ll never have the time or opportunity to do it.
I just want this fight to help someone… even if it isn’t me. And that’s why I went ever stop fighting.

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