Some Days

Somedays it’s just harder than others.
Some days I’m completely convinced of all my daughter is capable of. Others I cry because she won’t bear weight on her legs.
Some days I can almost see her brain working to form words. Others I cry because she hasn’t said “mama” yet.
Some days I’m completely full of fire inside because of her smiles. Others I spend mourning the life she could have had.
Some days I am motivated and called to push her through therapy even if she cries. Others I feel like every failure is a stab in my heart.
Some days I’m happy she is here and doing so well. Others I have to push myself through because I’m so sad she isn’t like other kids.
Some day I can see God’s plan and understand why our path is so difficult. Others I mourn the pregnancy and delivery I was denied.
Some days I think I’m the luckiest mom in the world. Others I feel shorted because my only child will always be more work than anyone else’s.
It isn’t always rain clouds and storms, but it isn’t always rainbows and sunshine either. Some days I don’t feel like a damn thing could threaten my joy and others I am sent into a fit of depression because I saw another kid crawl half her age.
I love my daughter. I will always fight for her and for my own happiness in this journey. Just some days are harder than others.

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