Let us mourn, let us dance.

You’d think I would have gotten the message by now.
 
Every day I open my Facebook and face grief. The kids like my daughter, well, they die sometimes, and every single day, my tribe lives with the grief of lost babies while we sip our coffee. It’s not easy, as I have written before, but loss is just part of the equation for us.  The grief becomes part of our day to day routines, we face it like one may face a yearly holiday, familiar and expected. We still cry with each loss, but we just learn to not be crippled anymore. You face death daily so you just learn to add it to the million of other feelings and responsibilities. You carry it with you daily.
Grief teaches you so much if you embrace it. You learn that life is short, scary short, so you never waste a moment. And I guess I have just compartmentalized this. It’s easy for me to express my inner emotions to these fellow mothers over the interweb, but I don’t take the time to do it with the people I see daily, or maybe not even the people I see daily, but those who have had an impact on me.
On Wednesday, September 19th, a man lost his battle with cancer. His name was Rusty Vinson, and he was a good man. He loved animals and his family. He was slow to speak because he thought hard on every word, and he never had an unkind moment. He was sweet and thoughtful, and I only was lucky enough to know him because every night, after work, he’d come sit at the bar in Newnan Hooter’s and drink a Bud Light Big Daddy.
I did always tell him he was my favorite regular. He never drank too much. He never got into fights. He never harassed the servers and he always stayed out of the drama. He was part of my life almost every single day that I managed that store, and now he’s gone, and maybe I am taking it a bit hard.
It’s not that we were best friends or anything. I didn’t see him much after I left the Newnan location, and since Georgia was born, I’ve seen him maybe twice. But he represented an amazing time in my life where I had a job I truly loved and was surrounded by people who loved me back. Life happens, and even if they aren’t around every day anymore, they are that old, familiar feeling that makes a soul feel warm again. And as I sat here and mourned the loss of his life, I realized that I never told these people just how important they were, just like I never told him.
 
Why do we hold ourselves back? Life is short, too damn short, to not tell each other I love you, you’re a good person, you make me proud. Why not stop every once in a while and just say we are important to each other? Why not live?
 
God, I got your message. I get it. And I hope this reminds someone else to breathe the air, remember the smell, and embrace the emotions that make you feel things. Life is short and we are just small specks on this earth. Take the time to dance, to cry, to laugh, to talk. You only have one chance.ad97702b899afe3361f24c799439e231

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