• Special Parents

    There is this saying I hear sometimes, “God only gives special needs kids to special parents.” Does He?  While I truly believe God chose Georgia for me, I do not think it was because I was special or fully suited for the job.  Honestly, I think God knew I needed her more than she needed me. And in her short 20 months on this earth, she has honestly taught me more about myself, God, this world, and all the people on it than my 30 years of life has. She has taught me that I am braver than I think.  She has taught me how to love without fear of…

  • Let us mourn, let us dance.

    You’d think I would have gotten the message by now.   Every day I open my Facebook and face grief. The kids like my daughter, well, they die sometimes, and every single day, my tribe lives with the grief of lost babies while we sip our coffee. It’s not easy, as I have written before, but loss is just part of the equation for us.  The grief becomes part of our day to day routines, we face it like one may face a yearly holiday, familiar and expected. We still cry with each loss, but we just learn to not be crippled anymore. You face death daily so you just…

  • How I Sleep Trained My Trisomy Toddler

    I am not an expert at parenting. If anything, I feel like this entire blog is dedicated to all the ways I struggle as a parent, specifically, a special needs parent.  I have hesitated posting my experiences with sleep training my daughter for fear that I may jinx it…. sleep is next to godliness, y’all, and I’m very grateful for the 8 hours I get every night.  It took me 15 months of sleepless nights to get there, but in case anyone out there is struggling like I was, here is how I solved my sleep problems.   Georgia NEVER used to sleep.  I would go days surviving on *naps*…

  • JPM

    You really never get enough credit. When people tell me Georgia is doing great because of my hard work, they don’t see you, in the eaves, the glue to the whole operation.  But I do.   The moments after our daughter’s birth defined us in a completely new way.  Our relationship changed, and I changed too, but you didn’t stop loving me.   When I was still recovering from the emergency c-section, you pushed me to walk, you held me up while I stood in the shower bleeding, you helped me get dressed. When I was pumping, you counted every ounce with me and celebrated.  You helped me collect each…

  • A Broken Piece

    Sometimes I think I am broken. “It’s okay,” he said, “You’re depressed.”   Depressed. I guess I didn’t even realize that’s what I was.  And the statement, so poignant, so pointed, so exact, makes everything seem so much more exasperating and exhausting.  “Try to say something positive,” I think to myself, “Be active, go do something…” Why is everything so much harder now?  So much heavier?  More stagnant and unchanging, yet everything seems to require more thought.  I want to cry but do not know why.  I want to be happy so I can make my husband happy, but I’m not sure what I’m missing.  And maybe nothing is missing…