• The Jealous Mom

    To the mom with the baby walking at ten months, I envy you. To the mother of the child telling you, “no,” I envy you. I envy the mom who can hand their child a sippy cup and I envy the mother who gets frustrated when their child grabs something they aren’t supposed to.  I am jealous of those who have to baby proof and even more jealous of those who have to chase their kids down. I genuinely wonder what it must be like. I wonder what it would be like if my daughter was typical–if when I went into her room, she was standing holding the edge of…

  • The Gray Area

    As I sat in the waiting room for Georgia’s therapy, anticipating to be called back, another mother & her daughter sat next to us.  Her daughter was adorable, chunky, and full of smiles.  I watched as she held her mother’s phone, smiling at the screen.  I wondered what that was like… to have your child hold something you handed her.   A little boy came in and sat with his grandmother.  As Georgia’s toy lit up and made sound, he came running over, and grabbed it before I could stop him.  I felt rude as I ripped it away and said loudly, “Please don’t touch her!”  His grandmother picked him…

  • Karson

    It breaks my heart. Every time, my reaction is different, yet all the same. It never gets easier. It never hurts less. “I can’t describe the feeling I feel knowing how much Karson is loved!! It’s time for an update….that, frankly, I never thought I’d have to give…. ECMO was not successful last night…. Karson went to her eternal home with our Heavenly Father…😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔 2 Timothy 4:7–8 (ESV) 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day,…

  • Her Broken Heart.

    My baby was born with a broken heart. No, not like in the movies, where someone breaks her heart.  As in, Georgia was born with three congenital heart defects that were not found in utero.  They are extremely common among children with Trisomy 18, and sadly, the cause of most deaths.  Statistics used to quote that 90 percent of children with Trisomy 18 would not live past age one, but didn’t mention the fact that a large amount of these angel babies were denied life-saving care, such as heart surgery to correct defects.  These life-saving interventions would be offered to any typical child, but unfortunately, babies like mine have been…

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  • The Medical Mom.

    Have you ever been so tired that the taste of cheap coffee seems like a blessing?  Have you, looking into the mirror, not been able to remember the last time you showered or even brushed your hair?  Have you ever cried in a doctor’s office, finally letting go of all that stress you’ve been carrying so long? The medical mama has. She’s held her child as they’ve screamed in pain from an IV or a catheter.  She has comforted her baby through the metal rails of a hospital crib.  She has found a way to smile in the face of a child who has endured more medical interventions than the…

  • Praise Him.

    I understand why believing in God, in prayer, and in religion is hard.   In all honesty, I can’t see the logic in it.  Logically speaking, how can you “prove” He is here?  That He is listening?  And if your nose isn’t in a bible, the words of Jesus from a well-meaning passerby may be taken as off-putting, and well, just plain crazy talk.   For the person battling a hardship, I think it’s even more difficult to see God in your life.  In that moment, it is easier to focus on all that is going wrong, rather than finding the good.  People will say things like, “I’ll pray for…

  • The Lonely Home

    Being a stay-at-home mom with a special needs child is lonely.   Before Georgia, I thought being a “homemaker” was the dream gig.  I envisioned myself driving around in my shiny SUV heading to yoga class, drinking Starbucks & listening to music, while my daughter sings along in the backseat.  I would still go out to see my friends, and Georgia would be one of those kids that people would marvel at and say how well behaved she was.   Well, as the stay-at-home mother of an 18 month old special needs toddler, I can state fully & completely that none of that has happened.   I almost never see…

  • Full of Grace

    Every Sunday morning runs pretty much the same in our house.   I wake up ridiculously early with Georgia, and put Moana on while I fix her bottle.  Then we sit, cuddle, and I catch up on social media (I’m a Facebook junkie!).  She usually starts getting wiggly, and I start getting eager to read my Bible. Yep.  My bible. About 2 years ago, you would have never heard that sentence come out of my mouth.  And I certainly wouldn’t be up early on a Sunday either.  No, pre-Georgia days, Sundays were reserved for sleeping in after a busy close at work, perhaps nursing a hangover, but now I spend…